{"id":481,"date":"2024-10-03T05:35:39","date_gmt":"2024-10-03T00:05:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ipcnr.org\/en\/?page_id=481"},"modified":"2024-10-06T19:30:30","modified_gmt":"2024-10-06T14:00:30","slug":"before-you-commit-suicide","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/ipcnr.org\/en\/gospel\/before-you-commit-suicide\/","title":{"rendered":"Feeling Suicidal?"},"content":{"rendered":"Reading Time: <\/span> 5<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/span>\n

Before You Commit Suicide<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional \u2013 only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

I<\/span> don\u2019t know who you are, or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you\u2019re reading it, and that is good. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some small idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n
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While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won\u2019t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Well, you\u2019re still reading, and that\u2019s very good. I\u2019d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope it means that you\u2019re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let\u2019s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Start by considering this statement:<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

\u201cSuicide is not chosen; it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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That\u2019s all it\u2019s about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn\u2019t even mean that you really want to die \u2013 it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights\u2026 no matter how much you want to remain standing. Will power has nothing to do with it. Of course you would cheer ourselves up, if you could.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Don\u2019t accept it if someone tells you, \u201cthat\u2019s not enough to be suicidal about.\u201d There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain. When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Suicide is neither wrong nor right; it is not a defect of character; it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Now I want to tell you five things to think about.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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1<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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You need to hear that people do get through this<\/mark><\/strong><\/em> \u2014 even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are going to live. I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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2<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, \u201cI will wait 24 hours before I do anything.\u201d Or a week. Remember that feelings and actions are two different things\u2014just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn\u2019t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute<\/mark><\/strong><\/em>. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it\u2019s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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3<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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People often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling<\/strong>. And you have to be alive<\/strong> to feel it<\/em>. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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4<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry; they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intentions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you<\/mark><\/em>.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what\u2019s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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5<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself<\/strong><\/mark><\/em>. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Well, it\u2019s been a few minutes and you\u2019re still with me. I\u2019m really glad.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
<\/span>
<\/div>
\n

You deserve a reward<\/strong><\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div><\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

S<\/span>ince you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let\u2019s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten\u2026! until they outnumber your sources of pain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being<\/strong> to talk with<\/em>. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Hopefully the first person you choose won\u2019t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It\u2019s time to start looking around for one of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

Now, I\u2019d like you to call someone.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n
\n
Kiran
1800-599-0019<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
NIMHANS
08046110007<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Aasra
9820466726<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n\n\n\n
Suicide Prevention
Foundation of India<\/strong><\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

If you need us to pray with you, feel free to contact us<\/a>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

<\/div>\n\n\n\n

<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Reading Time: <\/span> 5<\/span> minutes<\/span><\/span>Before You Commit Suicide If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional \u2013 only someone who knows what it is like … <\/p>\n

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It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. 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